“With ambiguous loss, there is no closure; the challenge is to learn how to live with the ambiguity.”–Pauline Boss

Ever wonder why some people just stop reaching out to you? There is no warning, no stated reason no closure, they just stop responding to your attempts to connect. It is easy to feel a little defeated (for just a little while!) in the interpersonal arena when this happens, however it is imperative not to become bitter but better because of such experiences that try your patience, produce more faith and polish your character.

Granted, you may have to cry sometimes as it is challenging to keep a positive attitude in the midst of what feels like rejection. Remember, feelings are real, however they don’t tell the whole truth of a story. Rejection is a reminder to refuel. Praising God in such a circumstance reminds us that no one really can “reject” us without our permission, no one can ever take your place; and where the Place maker plants you is the best place of all.

Coming to terms with ambiguous loss, a loss without closure (as Pauline Boss describes, a relationship that changes course at a bend in the river) is like coming to appreciate all the twists and turns of Jazz with it’s innovative, improvisational and unpredictable outcomes. It’s also much like the way Herbie Hancock described Blues music in his opening remarks at the 2nd International Jazz Festival last week in Istanbul, with their “highs and lows, the music of feelings, history, ideas, the music of your soul”. The Blues gives meaning to miserable moments… if we can pay attention to the rhythm and flow without judgment.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of this discussion next week!