In psycho-oncology literature, left breast cancer is correlated with unresolved grief and loss issues, as well as deep sorrow. So much of my professional life has been consumed with listening to very toxic and sad stories. As psychologists we are trained to wear raincoats of sorts in order not to get drenched by the down pour, and then we are able to help our clients eventually re-frame the rain, perhaps even find a way to dance in it or savor the sweet aroma that settles in the atmosphere afterwards.

At the same time, my personal life was full of perceived rejections and replacement experiences; it seemed those closest to me were pulling back the more I reached out, or were finding satisfaction in convenient relationships rather than a long distant one. For the first time in my life, I found myself without a sister friend to confide in, go shopping, have a latte and just hang with, and no man’s shoulder to rest my head on.

At first I protested, pleaded, and in the push backs felt so depleted. In dire need to be refueled and restored, I realized it was Simba Simbi time, as K.Kia Bunseki Fu-Kiau says in his book: “Simba Simbi: Hold Up That Which Holds You Up”. It was time to shift my perspective, remember my capacity to encourage myself and align my thoughts with the mind of Christ. As I received Holy Communion this week, read The Mystery of Holy Communion by Pastor Ben Nebechukwu and reflected on how Jesus sat at the table and broke bread with haters and doubters on his own team, while blessing the bread and wine He served them, I thought, WOW, what a model for grace, love and forgiveness! Jesus served his disciples anyhow, even though He knew He was about to be betrayed and denied.

It is not by my might, but by resting in God’s Promises which remain true, that continue to carry me through some of the darkest nights of my soul. What a revelation in the Last Supper story! If we look at how Jesus handled rejection, and was able to shake the dust off of His feet, surely we can we do the same and get a pedicure after the dust dissipates!

So, dance, pamper your feet, get your praise on, and watch God change things. Joy really does come in the morning; you my beloved are never forgotten or alone!